Falling In Love Again
by supersecretninjapenguin
Summary: The war has begun and the stakes are high. This has everything to lose. Just before Jeanine wages war, Tris discovers that she is pregnant. Will she be able to fight and will her child live?
1. Confessing

**Yay! Guilt fan fiction! Not really. I came up with this one a while ago. I don't have much yet. Just a few glancing ideas and cute scenes I want to work up to. Normally I don't like pregnancy fan fictions about FourTris because it just seems out of character. They're both kind of prudes. I doubt they would have an early kid like the rest of Dauntless. But I really just wanted to just screw characters and profiles and just write something fluffy and cute for you guys. Enjoy! Let me know if I should continue.**

Tris

Secrets. They are one of the only intangible things that aren't really there but that weigh more heavily on your mind and body than a million bags of sand.

And as I am pulled into the train car by the person in front of me, the weight seems heavier. Combined with the fear of not having Tobias there with me, it threatens to crush me with its heft.

What if Tobias isn't Divergent, like I thought? What if he's just like the mindless Zeke, helping me onto the train this very moment?

My mind bounces back and forth, trying to decide which is more important right now. Tobias or our baby?

I haven't even met this child. As I search for Tobias in the train, this child isn't even really a child. It's a tiny speck living in my body, not even recognizable as life. Yet I can't help wanting to ditch my training and run for cover to avoid whatever fight is about to happen. I can't help but want to protect this speck.

Even as my mind is on Tobias, it is on the Speck. Will it grow into a girl or a boy? Will I live to bring it into the world? Will we both die? Will it live?

I wonder if someday in the future, our child will have to wonder as well; wonder what has happened to its parents.

Will I ever meet my child?

So, immersed in my thoughts, I jump a little when I feel something touch my hand. Fingers.

Fingers curl into my hand, clasping it. I turn my hand a bit, praying to God that it is imperceptible. Tobias. He's here. He's next to me and safe.

I grip his hand back to let him know I feel him there. In my peripheral vision, I can see a smile on his face-so small it's not even there.

Tobias

Practice has allowed me to fix my face in a dead expression and calm my heartbeat. Still, it is hard to do. My heart still races, despite my long, steady breaths through my nose and my repeated comforting thoughts.

'She's not dead' I keep thinking it again and again. If I repeat it enough, I wonder if it'll come true.

Tris is smart. This I know is true. I just hope she's smart enough to realize what's happening and blend in. If they realize she's not some mindless drone, they'll shoot her without hesitation.

My eyes slowly drift back and forth, searching for her hair. Her hair that reminds me of clean sunshine and her eyes that remind me of fresh air and open spaces. It takes all of my will power not to scream her name at the top of my lungs.

Then I see her.

I see her, sleep lining her eyes in darker lines than the others. She looks paler than usual, her eyes empty. For a moment, I think I might be wrong, that she isn't Divergent. That she can't see me. But then she reaches up and brushes a string of hair behind her ear. She must be incredibly tired if she's stupid enough to do that openly. Luckily, Max and Eric didn't see it.

Zeke pulls her inside and steps aside, allowing her to shuffle inside. I shift so she will end up by me.

Close up, I can see that something is different. Her hair is in a ponytail, but it's loose and messy, as if she pulled at the hair before realizing it was stuck in a hair band. The areas under her eyes have this dark purple discoloration, like she didn't sleep for even a second. Her eyelids are lined with red as well, like she's been crying. Worst of all, her hands are quaking.

I inch my hand to the right, slipping my fingers between her shaking ones. She jumps, as if I had poked her with a hot needle and not just taken her hand. I frown a tiny bit.

Relief still courses through me though when she squeezes back.

The train leaks passengers slowly. So slowly I consider shoving a few people out to get out faster. I feel this animalistic need to get Tris alone so I can make sure she's alright.

When I finally get out, Tris jumps down behind me. She stumbles a little before I grab her arm to steady her. I can't have anyone seeing it. Once she's okay again, we keep marching, just another pair of supposedly mindless drones teaming up.

My surroundings bring back bad memories. We're in the Abnegation district, on streets identical to the one I lived on my whole life. Maybe even the same street. I can never tell.

Marcus lives in House 37, and we're in the 1-15 Houses. But each house looks like his, each house a reincarnation of my childhood and the hell my father put me through.

Tris

I feel sick. In school they told us that if you're pregnant, you shouldn't feel this much morning sickness so early, so I don't know if I'm imagining it or if it's really there. But I honestly feel like I'm going to puke on the sidewalk. Tobias and I keep walking, getting closer to Max and Eric with each step. We're within eavesdropping distance now.

Tobias keeps his gaze fixed ahead, and I do my best to copy him. I unfocus my eyes and keep marching, shoving my weak stomach into the recesses of my mind. Eric watches with a twisted grin on his face as we near him.

"Look at you now...the Great Four." He laughs, stepping in front of me. My heart stops, my eyes wanting to focus again. I know I can't suddenly focus again; he'll notice. I can see over Eric's shoulder as Tobias turns and watches, dead eyes not betraying a thing.

His hands, however, tell a different story. His index finger tightens ever so slightly over the trigger of his gun, readying itself to shoot at a moments notice.

"Think either of them are Divergent?" Max raises an eyebrow, watching Tobias carefully.

"Don't know." Eric's eyes bore into mine, searching for something I hope to God he won't find. "You know, I never really got why he liked her so much. Think she's good in bed?"

"Ew." Max wrinkles his nose. "Gross."

"Shall we find out?" Eric smirks, stepping back. My heart won't shut up.

I have a baby. I. Can't. Die. I have to keep it safe. I have to do something. I see Tobias' lips twitch downward, his knuckles whitening with the strain to not shoot Eric in the head.

"Eric. She's a soldier."

"Just curious. Jeez." Eric smirks at Max. "Besides, who will notice one Stiff missing?"

"Fine. Take her. Just kill her when you're done with your gross game." Max waves a dismissive hand and Eric scowls, turning back to me. He reaches for my waist and I hear the click from a cocked gun.

"Touch her and die." Tobias' face is woven with disgust and fury as he holds the gun to the back of Eric's head. Without a seconds hesitation, I raise my gun to Max, who raises his to Tobias.

"You wouldn't shoot me." Max growls. All traces of sickness have been temporarily erased from my mind as adrenaline fights its way through my body.

"Try me." I dig the gun into his head. "Drop the gun or I shoot. And I don't think you want that."

"Fine." Max lowers his gun, pointing it to the ground.

"Drop it." Tobias orders. Max follows the order, dropping the gun to the ground.

"Kick it toward that house." I say, jerking my head toward the house behind him. He listens, kicking it away. "Now get down. Lay down."

"Wha-"

"Now!" I aim the gun at his head again and he drops to his stomach. Keeping the gun pointed at the ground where he is, I shove my elbow into Eric's head. Tobias swings his gun over his shoulder and grabs me by the elbow, pulling me behind him.

We sprint down an alley together, keeping a free hand on our guns. When we come out the other side, a shot is heard. It whizzes past my head, narrowly missing my ear. We both hit the deck.

I can hear his breathing next to my ear. I can feel my pulse racing in my feet.

"Go." He hisses, popping up onto his knees and shooting at the attacker. Another bullet whizzes past his head and he ducks again. "Tris. Why didn't you go?" He frowns at me. Another gun goes off from a different angle and I flatten myself again, covering my head.

"Uh..." Should I tell him? How do you tell your boyfriend that? 'Hey honey! I know we're being shot at right now and I know that I'm only sixteen, but I'm pregnant! Congrats!' Nope.

"Behind you!" He shouts. Acting on instinct, I roll onto my back and shoot the guy behind me just as Tobias shoots from his upright position.

"Thanks." I smile sheepishly.

"Would you sit up?" He peeks over our safe wall for a second to shoot a couple times.

"Um..." I check for any attackers in view. "sure!" I roll onto my knees and shoot over the wall.

"Thank you!" He calls, shooting over my shoulder. I spin and shoot at a soldier approaching behind Tobias.

"Sure thing." I grunt. Another soldier creeps into view, past the wall, while Tobias is turned.

I don't seem to think of our child in that moment. All I think about is the bullet barreling toward Tobias' head and the soldier who fired it. I shove Tobias back by pushing his shoulders and I duck myself, feeling the bullet fly past. Tobias twists around and shoots, watching the soldier fall.

"Cover me." He orders. We both sit up, looking over the wall. I count six soldiers approaching. They're like bruises. They're everywhere but we never saw them coming.

"Got it." I shoot over his head at a short Dauntless.

"Going to explain why you're acting like an Amity?" Tobias asks, shooting down another. It's disheartening when another takes his place.

"You're not going to like it." I shake my head, shooting another and ducking.

"Well now I have to know!" He laughs, ducking so he's looking right in my eyes. "On three."

"Onetwothree." I count fast and sit up, shoot, then drop.

"What is it Tris?" He copies me, shooting twice. I don't get a chance to see if he hits.

"Um..." We both sit up, shooting.

"Tris!" Another falls to his bullets.

"Fine! You wanna know?"

"Yes! Please!" Tobias glares at me, shooting again.

"I'm pregnant!" I shout over the firing guns, watching his face fall apart.


	2. Adjusting

**Hello all! I was very surprised that five people already favorites this,but figured I was safe to post another chapter. I have to write a little more for the next chapter and I have another story I need a chapter for as well as a couple stories on Wattpad I'm wanting to get up and running. I'll do my best for you. Thank you for reading!**

Tobias

If you ever get that feeling where you think you're in a dream you can't wake up from? Then you know how I feel the moment that word slips from Tris' lips. She's pregnant.

Tris is pregnant.

There's a baby growing inside her. My baby.

I drop out of sight for a second, my brain freezing. She drops to my eye level as well.

"Pregnant." I shout. "As in a baby?"

"That's usually what a pregnancy is, Tobias!" She shouts over the noise, sounding frustrated.

"Wha-How?"

"What are you? Five? There was a class about this in school!" She points to her stomach. "Yours. Here."

"Shut up!" I laugh. We both sit up again and fire. She holds her gun up over my shoulder and shoots at someone behind me. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I ask.

"I was a little busy being shot at, you know?"

"Yeah. I know the feeling." I grin wider.

A soldier comes running at Tris from behind. I duck, hauling her downward and into my chest as I shoot him. He falls to the ground, gasping for air. She raises her face from my shirt, smiling.

"Thanks for that."

"You're welcome. Just please don't die."

"I'll try my best." She rolls her eyes while I look around the wall we have hidden behind for attackers.

"I think we have our chance. Run!" I grip her hand and drag her behind me. She screams as a remaining hidden soldier shoots and fires back as we run.

Once we make it to the other side of the street, I let go and urge her in front of me before picking up pace and sprinting from the scene.

Tris

I'm pretty sure I'm going to puke again. My entire body aches and burns like never before and I can't breathe. And even though I don't want to, I know I have to keep running. For my unborn child, for Tobias, for everyone.

So I do.

I follow Tobias until we reach the train tracks nearest to us.

I can hear the horn of the train as it approaches and I smile because it's almost over.

"You okay?" He frowns at me, a concerned look gracing his face. He reaches out to touch the small of my back.

"Um, yeah." I hesitate, feeling something burning in the back of my throat. "Yeah. I just...oh god." I spin around, hunching over as whatever I ate last repels itself from my body.

"Tris!" I hear the alarm in his voice. I can feel his hand hovering above my back, unsure whether to touch me or not.

"I-I'm fine." I groan, standing up and wiping off my mouth.

"You sure?" I can see clearly how much that scared him.

"Yeah. I guess it's part of growing a human." I give him a shaky grin.

"Tris...how long have you been...you know?" He asks, worry on his face.

"I think three months?"

"And you waited this long to tell me?!" His hands go to his head, tugging at the hair. I notice for the first time how much farther it's grown out. I don't know why I didn't tell him. He has just as much right to know. I just didn't know how.

Tobias

Three months. Three months of my girl friend being pregnant and I didn't notice. I'm an idiot.

"I-I...I was scared. I wasn't sure how you'd react! I mean, you got a sixteen year old pregnant!" She wipes hard at her face as tears touch her cheeks. The sight makes me realize how much this is upsetting her. Tris doesn't cry. Tris is the strongest person I know. If she's crying, it means I'm doing something terribly wrong.

"Hey." I take her hands with a gentle touch, bending down so we're at eye level. "Hey, don't cry." I lightly brush away the few fresh tears on her face. "Don't cry. It'll be alright." Her bright eyes are dull, the color of steel, as she looks at me.

"Where do we go?" She asks, her words shaky.

"Nowhere," I kiss her knuckles softly. "not now. We should rest for now. Find a drink so you can rinse your mouth. Let you sleep."

"Okay." To my surprise, she wraps her wiry arms tightly around me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I squeeze her to me in response, feeling her fingers on my back. Her palms and the tips of her fingers press to my upper back, leaving tiny spots where I feel just a little warmer.

"Okay." She finally pulls away and takes my hand. I squeeze her hand back, not wanting to let her go. I'm worried she'll disappear if I don't keep a constant touch on her.


	3. Arriving

**Sorry it took so long. I had a hard time finding time to do this. I'm having one of those weeks where you don't want to do anything. PE was hell, as you can imagine.**

**Tris**  
><strong>Jumping<strong> on a train pregnant reminds me somewhat of jumping on for my first time period. Even though Tobias runs behind me boosts my foot up, I still have to wiggle inside like a snake. He swings after me and helps me up.  
>"Alright?" I'm feeling better and my feet are staying underneath me so far. Still, I don't let go of my firm grip on his wrist.<br>"Yeah. I'm fine." I nod, letting go. I fall back against the wall of the car and sink to the ground so I can sit.  
>"You don't have to lie." I feel his shoulder pressing against mine.<br>"But I want to." My brain may possibly be an inflatable balloon. That's what it feels like.  
>"You shouldn't."<br>"I should." I look over at him. "I don't want you worrying about me twenty four seven. It's not healthy and it's not smart."  
>"You're ridiculous." He shakes his head.<br>"You need a clear head."  
>"I'm on a train. I'm fine for now."<br>"And when we're not on a train? When we're fighting soldiers and running? You know as well as I do that this problem isn't going to be solved without a lot of force, and you're not to back down from a fight you believe in." Tobias just stares at me long and hard.  
>"You being pregnant changes nothing."<br>"You're a liar."  
>"Will you just listen for five seconds?" He snaps.<br>"Sorry."  
>"Tris, do you know how worried I was about you before I found you on that stupid train car? If I soldier had revealed me then I would've died. I'm at a disadvantage either way." He takes my hand in his and grips it tightly. "So let me worry about you."<br>**Tobias**  
>The train has just about reached the wall and I'm debating just letting Tris sleep more and riding the train for one more loop. She's only slept for ten minutes and the circles under her eyes suggest days of exhaustion.<br>But in the end I know we need out of the city. I wake her up and we jump.  
>"We should get to Amity. They'll probably be serving as a safe house."<br>"Okay." Tris says, rubbing the last of the sleep out of her eyes before taking my hand.  
>I get us through the gates and we walk from there.<br>Amity is a cluster of wooden structures in the middle of huge fields.  
>"We have to find the main gathering area."<br>"Like the Pit." She still seems tired but I think that's just a side effect of growing a human, right? I should have paid more attention in school.  
>"Exactly. Except this Pit won't have riots going on inside."<br>"Of course. Knowing these marshmallows they probably toss around cottonballs for entertainment."  
>"Or roast marshmallows." I suggest. This is good. Talking. It's keeping her awake. I grip her hand tighter and we keep going.<br>"That's cannabalism." She yawns. I asked if she wanted me to carry her before and she said no. Now I wish she would have let me. She looks like she's about to fall over in exhaustion.  
>"Welcome friends. How may we help you?" Two Amity ask once they see us. It's a boy and girl, holding hands. They tilt their heads in our direction.<br>"We need safety." I say, knowing they'll understand me.  
>"I'll go get Johanna." The girl says happily. She runs back towards buildings and the boy leads us after her to the Amity version of a Pit.<p> 


	4. Relaxing

**Welcome back. For those of you who have read my other divergent writing have met Naomi. I've decided to include her here. Not sure how big of questions role she will play but I'd like to show an alternate path in her life.**

**Tris**

Amity have always been a little odd.

The one leading us is no exception. He sits us at a table in the corner and leaves quickly to find someone named Jeremy. Once he's gone I lean against Tobias and sigh happily. I've been freezing and hes warm.

His arm rests around shoulders and I'm glad because it keeps me close to him. I'm ready to fall asleep but I don't think now is the time. Stupid baby, making me all tired.

The pair of Amity return, someone with them. I recognize her from the Hub and other places as Johanna Reyes, leader of the Amity.

"Welcome Four." She smiles to Tobias and he nods back. "And Beatrice. You go by Tris now, correct?" I'm not sure whether to be bothered by her knowledge of my life or impressed. "I hear you need shelter."

"Yes. If you would be kind enough to offer it." Tobias' voice sounds so polite and proper when he speaks to Johanna. I suppose that is a good thing since she holds our best chance for comradery.

"Perhaps. I'd have to discuss with my faction. For now we can offer safety until the decision. A bed and a meal?"

"That's better than we could hope for. Thank you." This isnt him. This isn't Tobias. This is some calm leader. I can't help but hear the better half of Marcus in his tone.

"Alright. Jeremy, Rica, please show them to a room. I assume they wish to share one. It would feel safer?" She glances between us. I have to admit, the idea of any bed sounds good, but having Tobias there sounds even better. I nod.

**Tobias**

The Amity are long gone, having left us alone to our room. It's very bare. Just a bed and a set if drawers.

"You should lay down." I advise, placing a hand on the small of her back. She looks exhausted, and staying up until the decision this afternoon will only make it worse.

"Do you mind?" She glances at me quickly, but her eyes flick back to the bed almost immediately. Her posture is slumped, her eyes dull with sleep.

"Of course not. You need to sleep." She nods and slides under the cover.

"Come lay down." She yawns, settling her head down onto the pillow. "I meant now, Tobias." She reaches out a sleep heavy arm. I hesitate for a moment before crawling under with her.

The bed does feel warm and soft, but we don't both sleep at once. We'll be completely unguarded. I look over to see Tris already asleep. So I wind my arms around her waist and pull her close.

And lay there and wait for the Amity to call me for the meeting.

**Tris**

When I wake up Tobias is gone. I can tell immediately. My hand is sitting on the bed and the spot is warm, but empty.

I peel my eyes open and look around the Amity room, lit by bright sunshine. I roll over onto the spot where I know Tobias was and look up at the ceiling. He must have left a bit ago because the place he was laying on is almost completely cold.

The Amity ceiling is made of some kind of clay; it's split by hairline fractures. Finally the door opens and an Amity girl slips in. In her hands she has a change of clothes.

She has darker skin, like Uriah, but her is dark and curly, pulled back in loose braids. She wears baggy red and yellow clothing. She doesn't carry herself like an Amity girl though. No, this girl has her chin parallel to the ground, her chocolate eyes bright and intelligent looking. She looks about my age, maybe younger.

"I brought you these. I saw you come in. Your clothes are all dirty." She doesnt speak like an Amity either. Her voice is clear, loud, confident.

"Oh." I look down. Indeed my shirt is streaked with dry mud. The sheets have collected dry gravel and sand from my nap. "Thanks."

She tosses them on the bed and turns to leave. When she reaches the door she stops and turns to look at me. She meets my eyes square.

"What was Dauntless like?" She asks it without shame, without pause. My answers surprises me.

"Fake." The girl nods. "What's Amity like?" She smiles tightly.

"Fake."

"What's your name?" I ask. This girl intrigues me. The Amity who wants to be Dauntless. Who isn't afraid.

"Naomi." I nod back at her.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Tris." She nods and slips back out the door like she was never there.

This world, this system, used to make so much sense when I was a part of it. Except I never mattered until I wasn't. I didn't matter to anybody until I became bigger than Jeanine's pawn, until I became Divergent.

Naomi is the same. She doesn't matter now, but she should. Everyone should. The selfish Abnegation and the cowardly Dauntless and the brave Amity.

"They decided we can stay." Tobias' words cut straight into my thought and I look up to see him leaning against the door.

"Really?" I get up out of bed and walk to him, not bothering with the change of clothes.

"We have to work for our keep, and there's no violence rules, but yes, we can stay." He takes my hands and pulls me toward him.

As I let him I take a breath and let out some of my thoughts and my stress.

"Good."


	5. Hiding

**Short, I know, but I'm working on the new one TONIGHT. I promise. No procrastinating. I even wrote myself a rude note on my white board so you know I'm dead serious. I promise I'll write at least a sentence tonight. Just kidding. I'll write two sentences.**

**Tobias**

The Amity weren't joking when they said we have to contribute. Everything here in Amity is done in teams. Every morning I get up before Tris and go help set up for breakfast. I usually get back to our room just in time for Tris to shoot toward the toilet with her dinner from the night before.

From there we walk together to breakfast. She's still in first trimester, so she has heavy morning sickness every morning. It's a little nerve wracking when I walk into the room and only see a streak of blonde zoom past me to the bathroom across the hall.

We both have breakfast dishes together but then Tris has to help laundry while I help carry that morning's produce to the ware house.

The work makes me remember what Tori told me once, about how I could have done just fine anywhere. How I would have been fine in Amity. And although I told Tris I want to have all the traits of the factions, I know that being in Amity twenty four seven would drive me insane.

At least I don't have to worry about Tris. I know she'll be relatively safe in Amity, so I don't feel that compulsive need to watch her constantly like I had in Dauntless.

But then she doesn't show up for lunch. I know for a fact she's just coming back from her regular walk in the orchard before lunch. She told me when we got here last week that it helps her feel better to get some fresh air. I don't ever try to find her in the orchards though since I know it would be nearly impossible. They're so vast and colorful, I'd never spot her.

But when she doesn't show up five minutes after the lunch bell, I start to feel that need nag at me again. I keep my eyes on the door she usually comes through.

Almost seven minutes after the bell she slams through the doors into the lunch hall, sprinting. Her eyes are wide in fear and her ponytail has branches and leaves sticking out wildly.

"Tris!" She bends over a potted plant and I hear retching. I jump up, shocked. "What happened?" I grip her shoulder. She straightens and swallows hard.

"Erudite...coming...cars." She's still out of breath, but at least I can make out her words.

Before she can protest I've tugged her back to our room.

"Change into these." I say, shoving a flannel red top and a pair of yellow jeans into her hands. With that, I run back to the lunch hall to warn the Abnegation here.

"Any one not Amity needs to move now!" I shout. "Erudite are coming. Go! Change quickly and be careful!"

That's the best I can do for now. I push back through the fast moving Abnegation to get back to Tris. All the Abnegation adults are frantically dressing their children into red and yellow before pushing them to safety. A few pull their own Amity clothing off and sacrifice it for the smaller group of Candors and Dauntless. One little Amity girl gives another little Candor girl her red over shirt to cover her striped black and white top, leaving her in her thin yellow tank top.

Tris stands in the middle of our room, finishing the rest of her buttons. I chose her a shirt that covers her ever so slightly curved stomach. Tris is naturally skinny, but she's reached a stage that looks like she's just been eating too much Dauntless cake. But this shirt is too big on her, making it look like nothing's changed. It also keeps her warm, which I know she'll appreciate later.

Her hands shake and the branches and leaves from her hair litter the room's floor.

"Ready?" I take her hand, soft and small.

"As I'll ever be." She grips my hand back tightly. Her face is strong, but I notice her free hand twitching against her leg.

"You'll be fine." And for once, I'm absolutely sure of it.

"Yeah. You say that now." We stop in front of our door, pressed against it to avoid getting trampled by the panicked crowd of people. "As much as I hate to say it, we should split up. People recognize us more when we're together."

Her strength wouldn't appear to waver to anyone not me. But I saw it. I saw the bite of her lip and the tapping knuckles on her thigh.

"You're right." And I do. But I don't move. Instead of splitting up like we said we would, we just stand there, gripping each other's hand.

Someone knocks into her back, causing her to bump into my chest. Before either of us say anything, our arms snake around each other and we're pressed together. She's trembling slightly and I just bury my nose in her hair, pressing a kiss there.

"Be brave Tris." I mumble. She nods, her cheek pushed against my chest.

Finally, we detach and I gulp. I don't want to let her go. I don't want her to wander off alone. I don't want to leave her unprotected, not when she's like this, in this state.

"Here." I offer her a gun and she nods, tucking it into her waistband, covering it with her loose shirt.

"Be safe." She says, giving me one more quick hug, her arms tight around my shoulders. Her toes barely touch the ground when she does that.

"I will."

And just like that, the most important person in the world to me is gone, slipped between the mass of frenzied people. I wait a few minutes before going the other direction and circling around to the lunch hall, where I'm sure everyone is concentrated.


	6. Escaping

**Already typed this out for another author's note. In short, two road blocks: 1.) Pneumonia 2.) Drowning in advanced schoolwork/paperwork/prerequisites/homework...**

**Tris:**

I can spot Tobias from here, his red polo seems brighter than everyone else's. Then again, that might just be because I don't want him to stand out right now more than ever.

His gaze rakes over the crowds of people, finding mine. He shoots me a small smile that twists my insides. I smile back, tugging my ponytail over my shoulder and flashing the Erudite security a goofy Amity smile that reaches my highest standards. He nods back, his lip squirmed in a cocky way that makes me want to punch him.

An older Amity mother is glancing around nervously, unnerved at the sight of their guns. She clutches her daughter to her side.

"They won't fire them unless provoked." I whisper, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Of course, but when they do?" Worry darkens her lines in a way that makes her look older than she is.

"You run. But for now you need to look relaxed and at ease or they'll interrogate you. Let you daughter play." She blinks, knawing on her lip.

"How do you know?"

"I just do." She smiles nervously, releasing her daughter's hand. The girl looks up at her mother before joining a group of other children in the middle of the dining hall.

The idea that even Amity parents are afraid to release their children to a spot mere feet away makes my insides twist. If the safest faction feels threatened right now, how am I supposed to bring a child into this world without a safe place to live. I can raise a child while firing my way out of faction compounds.

A guard approaches Tobias suspiciously. I tense up immediately, my hand itching to wrap around the handle of that gun in my waistband. Still, I wait for the guard to show apprehension before drawing a weapon. We could still stay here if we're careful.

The guard says something to Tobias. He keeps his look straight but hard as he answers. The guard raises an eyebrow, reaching a hand out. He pulls down the collar of Tobias' shirt to reveal the tattoos inked across his neck.

Theres no time to waste. I whip my gun, aiming it at the guard nearest me as I sprint for the guard by Tobias. Both of their guns are already out, pointed at each other.

"Tris, behind you!" Tobias shouts. It's too late though. A bullet rips through the skin of my shoulder, grazing me, and I cry out, falling to the ground. "Tris!"

There's a sickening crack and another gun fire. The sounds of a body crumpling to the ground is hidden by the cries of the rest of the crowd. Children ran for parents and parents ushered their children away.

I groan, pushing myself off the ground. The bullet didn't actually embed in my skin. It just grazed me, but it hurts like hell.

"Tris!" An old Candor man crashes into my injured shoulder in an effort to escape and I wince. Tobias shoves people out of the way to reach me. He pushes the Candor man further ahead, gripping my uninjured shoulder firmly to hold me steady.

"Hey." I mutter weakly. I can't even hear myself, but somehow Tobias does. He frowns.

"You get shot and caught in a crowd of panicked people and you say **'Hey'**?"He places his hands on either side of my face.

"Technically it's just a graze." He sighs, pulling me into his chest.

"I'm glad you're okay." He says into my ear. I smile.

"We need to leave!" I shout, pointing to the Erudite guards still regaining composure.

"I agree." He drags me behind him and out the back doors of the dining hall. Together we sprint for the train tracks. My shoulder burns with every step, but I don't complain. It could be worse.


	7. Running

**For the Guest who was 'depressed'**

**Tris **

Guilt is scorching my skin from underneath.

How could we just leave those people there? Those human beings? Leave those children and parents and fellow faction members there to die at the hands of deluded Erudites?

The guilty half of me feels like the most selfish person in the world.

The other half of me knows that if we had stayed, we would be dead right now, and that our child would never get a chance to see life, which, even in a world like this, can be magnificent. So I know we did the right thing by running. And one day, our child may learn the truth, and think we were cowards, but I won't care because I'll have them and Tobias.

"What are we going to do now?" I ask, resting my head on Tobias' shoulder. We made it onto the first train inside the gates and the running left my shoulder on fire.

"I don't know."

"Soon I'll start showing and people will know." I say. "Jeanine will come for us. For the baby."

"I know." He wraps an arm around me, sighing.

"I'm sorry, Tobias." I say, as the air between us begins to grow heavy. I move my body so it's facing his, space between us. Though it's only a few inches, it feels like ten times what it should be. "I should have been watching where I was going." He shakes his head.

"Only a true Abnegation would apologize for getting shot." He says. He reaches out and takes my hand, pulling me into his lap. I fit perfectly into the space between his legs, and I imagine, briefly, that I am the only one who does, who ever will. It's a nice thought, one that makes me want to spent the rest of my life in his arms.

It doesn't take long for the world to slip out from under me. My vision narrows until I sink into dark dreams of panicked crowds and gunshots.

**Tobias**

Her body melts into mine soon after arriving on the train, her middle curving to fill in any space between us. Gently, I pull her closer to my chest as her breathing falters slightly. She smells like Amity soap and wind. I remember back in Dauntless she used to always smell like the training rooms and Chasm mist, though maybe that was just me and her, together.

The memory of our first kiss comes rushing back, every moment. The mist that clawed at my ankles, her fingers clutching my shirt, my neck, my hair. How small she felt when I held her in my arms. She's stayed that way, these past few months - small.

She does things that are big, things that make a big difference, but when in a room full of people my Tris is always the smallest, the seemingly most insignificant.

The thought of Tris as insignificant makes me laugh. She is anything but insignificant.

And she's right. I cannot sit this fight out. We will both want to fight at some point or another. The problem isn't whether that was going to happen because Tris was right, it always was going to happen. The problem is the fact that I'll have to let Tris go.

**Tris**

We make our way from Amity into the city, not sure where to go that will be safe.

"What about Candor?" I ask, leaning against the open doorway. The wind quickly snatches at my shirt, snapping at the heavy fabric. "What are they doing?"

"I'm not sure. Someone at Amity said they were still neutral though." He takes a deep breath, approaching me from behind. He slides an arm around me, finding the object of my fascination very quickly - Erudite headquarters. The lights are on, the doors closed. Their own private fortress. "It could be worth a shot."

The thought makes my stomach squirm. We're not really in the kind of position to just go around taking chances. It's not just our lives at stake anymore, it's also the Speck's.

"Yeah, but…" The wind steals my words, stashing them away in the trees that hide the Erudite headquarters as we move quickly towards the heart of the city. "What if it isn't neutral anymore? Do we really trust strangers you overheard at Amity?"

The silence stretches out for a long time, each beat more and more empty than the last. Finally, Tobias removes his arm from around me and takes my hip, pushing me to the side so I'm backed against the edge of the doorway to the car. He places his other hand on the other hip, looking me straight in the eyes. He kisses me firmly, smiling as I try to deepen the kiss. Instead he pulls away and pulls me further into the car. "Maybe we can't trust them, but we can't really trust anyone right now, can we?" He wraps his arms around me once we're safely inside the car. "They're nothing special."

"I can trust you." I say quietly, resting my head on his chest."

"Then trust me." He kisses the top of my head, holding me even tighter than before. "I'll keep you safe, wherever we go. Just tell me where that is."

"We'll go to Candor." I say, gazing out the doorway at the buildings growing closer with every second. Somewhere among those buildings is the Candor headquarters, waiting for us. Maybe it'll safe there. I want to believe that it will be.

**Tobias**

"Stop there." The familiar click of a gun being cocked is heard to my left. To my right is Tris, who has another gun facing her. I reach out for her hand, fumbling for her hand to assure her that it will all be okay.

It will all be okay. It will be.


	8. Telling

**Some of you wanted to know why this took so long to update. I didn't mean to do wait so long, and I wasn't quitting the story. I huess I was just kind of forgot for...a long time, I guess. There's a lot of shitty legal stuff happening in my family right now and even though my friends are super supportive about everything, it sucks to come home at night. **

**And when I'm depressed I pretty much just stare at stuff. Like, blank mind, glazed over eyes, stare at stuff. It could be a wall and I'd find it way more interesting than any show on Netflix or any book on my shelf. So there you have it. I was staring at walls. **

**I will finish this story. Anyway, this is a good chapter. I think you'll like it a lot. :)**

**Tobias**

Candor headquarters are crowded with people that give us looks of unashamed curiosity as we are paraded past them. Tris doesn't seem surprised that we were arrested at the entrance but still, she doesn't let go of my hand.

I smile at her as they push us through each doorway, higher and higher, until we enter an office high up in the building where there's a man waiting for us. When he turns around I recognize him vaguely from places like the Hub when I was younger and still went to ceremonies there with my father and meetings I was forced to attend.

Jack Kang, representative of Candor.

He gives us a stony look, obviously not surprised or pleased to see us. He waves the guards to the back of the room and approaches us slowly. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to face a situation like this." He says, sinking into his office chair. "Why did you come here soldiers?"

"We want protection," Tris says, her voice even. I can't say I'm surprised that she has a good way of hiding whatever it is she's feeling inside. She's gotten good at it over the last few months.

"You came here even though you knew you were wanted by Jeanine?" Kang leans forward, placing his hands together and neatly placing his elbows on his knees. Tris' honesty has intrigued and pleased him. "She's a very dangerous woman, you know."

"Yes," Tris says. "Are you scared of her, Mr. Kang?"

"I have something she wants." He says, rolling up to his desk and reaching into his drawer for a pen to sign a document sitting open on his desk. "So yes, I am scared." He says, looking at us with an open face. His innocent looks don't show scared. They show indifferent.

"Then you understand our needs?" I ask, glancing at the guards that are still watching our interaction with little restraint.

"I understand, and Candor will offer refuge, but first you must go through what all other refugees had to go through to gain protection from my faction." He stands from his desk and holds out a small vial of a pale blue liquid. It's thick, moving slowly through the vial as he turns it. A wave of indecision crosses Tris' face at the sight of the serum.

"A serum?" She asks, shifting so she's closer to me.

"Truth serum," Kang says. "simply helps the user answer our questions truthfully. Every refugee admitted their secrets to ensure that our community stays safe and close through these...unfortunate events."

"Unfortunate?" Tris, though she has nothing to hide, looks uneasy at the idea of confessing to all of Candor. I don't blame her. Who wants to bear their soul to strangers?

"Yes, unfortunate. Now, will you be completing the test for protection or will you be moving on before I inform Jeanine that you were here?"

I look to Tris, who frowns at the ground. "Can we discuss it for a moment?"

"Why do you hesitate?" He looks down on us like we're stray dogs, which I suppose we are. "Do you have secrets you don't want found?"

Tris looks up and swallows, takes a deep breath. "Of course not. We'll take your serum."

"Very good."

**Tris**

I can't breath. It's hard to even see. Tobias and I are marched down to a large room where people are being filed in. There are Candors, dressed plainly in Candor clothing, and others, wearing whatever clothing they could find, I suppose.

A man in a red Amity shirt and blue Erudite pants gives us a strange look.

The guards leave us in the very front of the room, where everyone can see us. While people are still sitting down Tobias turns to me, a worried look on.

"Why didn't you want to do the serum?" He asks, taking my face in both hands. "Are you hiding something dangerous, Tris? Tell me." He's scared. Maybe he thinks I hid the fact that I killed someone or something. Oh no, what we're hiding is even worse.

"Tobias, I'm pregnant!" His face darkens, knowing what I mean. "The moment people know, I'll be a target! What am I supposed to do? It'll come out!"

He takes a deep breath, pushing my hair out of my face. "I know, I know. That okay though!" He smiles comfortingly. "It'll all be okay. Just try to get through this and when they ask questions try to avoid saying it to the best of your abilities, okay? Besides, you're Divergent. Who knows if this serum even works on you?"

His hopeful attitude makes me feel a little better, but my stomach is in knots as I watch Tobias get injected and sent up a set of stairs to a raised platform where they

ask him his name. Immediately his face tightens uncomfortably. My heart aches for him as, through gritted teeth, he says,

"Four."

The man questioning him frowns. "That's a nickname. What's your real name?"

I swallow audibly, shuffling my feet where I stand. Jack Kang is sitting nearby, watching with interest as Tobias struggles through the serum. Finally, in a voice strangely loud in such a large room, he speaks.

"Tobias." A couple of Dauntless sitting around the room murmur slightly, excited to know the legendary Four's name at last. I shoot a couple death glares before returning my attention to Tobias.

"What are the names of your parents, Tobias?" It's an innocent question, and another that he tries to avoid.

"Why is that relevant?" He snaps.

"Well, it wasn't." The interrogator says. "But now that you've demonstrated resistance it has become relevant. Answer the question, Mr. Eaton."

Tobias' shoulder sag with the effort, like he's falling asleep in the most forced position allowable. "Evelyn and Marcus Eaton." The room pulses with whispers. Eaton is a powerful name, and one not mentioned often without a reason.

Even the man questioning Tobias has pause for a moment. "You were a transfer, correct?"

"Isn't that obvious?" He snaps, stumbling backward a few steps. I resist yelling at the man questioning him for the sake of Tobias. He's already looking suspicious. He wouldn't want me jumping in to help him protect secrets, making both of us look guilty anyway.

The interrogator doesn't stop this time, plowing right on into the next question. "Why did you transfer, Tobias?"

"Why does it matter?" He shudders under the weight of the serum. My heart sinks. I want to stop the man questioning him. I want to run to Tobias and fold him into my arms. I want to shelter us both from the world. This is wrong. This is _so _wrong.

"We need to know where your loyalties lie, Tobias. Please answer the question. Why did you transfer?"

"To protect myself." He opens his eyes long enough to look up at me, his eyes glazed over like he's been awake too long. My pulse is pounding in my ears as the questioner continues.

"Protect yourself from what?"

"My father." He closes his eyes again, lowers his head. Silence spreads through the room at his words. No longer do the Candor mutter, discussing his resistance to the serum. Instead they all watch Tobias like he's a bomb ready to explode at the slightest provocation.

"Thank you for your honesty, Tobias." The man says, a small smile breaking across his face as the rest of Candor repeat his sentiments. For a split second I allow myself to think that maybe they're done with him. That maybe they'll let him go and move on to me so I can reveal my big secret, my vulnerability.

"Yeah." Tobias looks ready to fall over.

"Tobias, one last thing. Jeanine, the representative of Erudite is looking all over for you and your friend Beatrice," My name on his tongue sounds odd, out of place. "Why?"

"Because she wants us." He shakes like he's standing in freezing winds.

"For what Tobias?"

"Because we're Divergent."

"Can you recall what happened the day the simulation happened?" He takes deep breath in, lets it out, repeats.

"I woke up and saw everyone walking towards the exit, so I followed them. Everyone was going to a train and climbing in, so I did."

"Why were you following everyone else?" The interrogator looks up at Tobias curiously.

"I knew something was wrong," He hesitates, knowing where his next words would eventually lead. "and I wanted to find Tris."

"Beatrice?"

"Yes." His voice drops lower with his eyes.

"Why?"

The room watches intently as they wait for an answer. Tobias smiles at the ground slightly as he answers, not pleased but not angry. "I love her." My heart swells, love surging up through me as well.

"You love her?"

"Yes." He looks at me. "I love her." I smile at him to tell him to go on.

"Please continue Tobias." The interrogator waves Tobias on. "What happened after you got on the train?"

"I watched for Tris through the door." He says. "When she got on I made sure I was standing next to her. I held her hand until we got off the train. When we got off we were confronted by Max and Eric."

"The Dauntless leaders?"

"Yes. They wanted to...take Tris." My stomach squirms at the memory, like it's full of worms. Or maybe it is a worm.

"For what, Tobias?" Tobias shakes his head, grimacing. His forehead glistens with sweat as he works to avoid answering the question.

"I don't want to say it."

"Answer the question, Tobias." He shakes his head again, eyes closed tight. I want to scream at them to leave him alone, leave him alone. "Answer the question, Tobias."

"For sex." He whispers. The room grimaces as well at the unpleasant image. "I wanted to kill them."

Even the interrogator looks regretful for asking the question. He nods. "Thank you for your honesty." The crowd echoes him. "Please continue."

"We ran off and started to fight off soldiers under the simulation so we could get out safe. After that was over we decided to hide in Amity because we knew it would be a safe house."

He left a rather important but unnecessary detail. I was pregnant. That's why we ran.

"Thank you for your honesty, Tobias." He must not have any more question because the interrogator dismisses him and orders me forward.

He stumbles down from the platform, giving me a frightened look. He presses his lips tighter together as they lower him into a seat. I smile at him as they inject me with the serum and send me up the stairs. Every step I take feels heavy and clunky. Finally I stand alone on the platform, looking over everyone around me. Tobias gives me an encouraging look.

Then, rows into the room, I see another familiar face. Christina, her dark eyes shining in the darkness of the room. She smiles at me happily, waving as I turn back to Tobias in the chair below me, avoiding the eyes of the interrogator.

"What is your name?"

"Beatrice Prior."

**Tobias**

I wish she didn't have to do this. I don't want her to do this. It's harder to resist that serum than I thought. If one word slips out, one phrase, it could endanger her life forever.

"What are the names of your parents, Beatrice?"

"Natalie and Andrew Prior." The pain that crosses her face is visible, at least to me. I know it still pains her that she doesn't know where anyone in her family is yet. I know she also doesn't want to go looking knowing what's at stake.

"What is your current faction, Beatrice?"

"Dauntless." She keeps a brave face, hardly moving a muscle as she keeps her eyes fixed on me. I smile at her.

"Can you recall what happened the day of simulation, Beatrice?"

"I woke up in the initiation dorms." So far she's doing okay. She doesn't have to lie for this part. "I followed everyone to the trains outside like Four said." Even when everyone always knows my name she reminds that I am Four, a force to be reckoned with. It leaves me feeling strangely warm inside. "I didn't want to raise suspicion."

"Why were you not under the simulation, Beatrice?" She hesitates, her face foggy but her mind still clear. I know for a fact her mother told her never to say it out loud, but she can't help it.

"Because I'm Divergent." The room nods, knowing already from me that this is true. She closes her eyes, turning her head from me slightly.

"Continue."

"I met Four on the train and we got off. We were found by Eric and Max." The interrogator lets her continue, knowing we already explored the story of the confrontation with Eric and Max. "We fought off soldiers and decided to go to Amity." She opens her eyes again and, amazingly, they are completely clear. No longer does the hazy mist of truth serum hang over her.

"Yes, Tobias said that." He says, frowning. "Why is that? You two are well-known, Beatrice. You don't back down from a fight. Beatrice," He pauses. "did you ever find your family?"

Her face freezes, contorts, changes. "No,"

"Why not?"

"I couldn't find them." Her voice cracks, a tear runs down her cheek. I want desperately to pull her off that platform and into my arms like I would if we were alone. "I didn't have time."

"Why not? You know how to fight. Why didn't you just…" He makes it sound easy. "go get them?"

She ducks her head, clutching her head like she suddenly got a head-splitting headache.

"The more you resist, the more it will hurt." Jack Kang speaks for the first time the entire interrogation, his face blank. He looks interested, but more in terms of knowing the story than in concern for the girl falling apart in front of him. She's fighting so hard to hide our secret and she's still failing.

"B-Because...gah!" She drops to her knees, pressing her fists into her eyes. I stand from my chair, only to be pushed back down by two guards. I struggle against their grips, watching Tris as she collapses in on herself trying to hide our secret. "Because I'm pregnant."

At the words the room erupts in painful whispers and the interrogator dismisses her. Like a trance she was released from, the pain in her head stops. The room is too preoccupied to echo his words this time, but watch as the guards release me. She stands slowly, swaying on her feet as she makes her way down the stairs. I surge forward, stopping at the bottom of the stairs as she makes her way down.

She falters on the last few steps and I catch her by the waist, folding her into my arms. She sighs with what I can only hope is relief and melts into me. "Hey," She says, her voice ragged.

"Hey," I say, placing a soft kiss on her pulse point.

"Tris!" Running towards is an elated Christina. No matter how dramatic and painful the admittance, Christina did always seem like the kind of friend to smile when a child is mentioned. Tris takes a deep breath as she separates herself from me to give Christina a hug.

The two haven't seen each in other in almost a month and, even though she is overwhelmed, Tris smiles as she hugs her friend.

**Tris**

It hurt so bad. That's all I can think about as Tobias holds me afterward. It hurt so bad.

Afterward, I was happy to see Christina, despite the odd timing. Still, I really just wanted to sleep. That's all I've wanted to do for days now. Sleep.


	9. Looking

**Happy holidays! No fluffy holiday chapter for you suckers!**

**-Abby**

**Tobias**

We've been under Candor protection for a little over a week when I wake up to one of the strangest moments of my life. I hadn't noticed it before, but Tris was _showing. _

We'd been going to bed and waking at different time because I worked with the Candor computers to help out and she worked with the older people in Candor who needed help. I usually get home much later than her and don't want to disturb her by pulling her into my arms.

Last night we got back the same time, as she had an old lady who needed hospitalization. We went straight to bed, both extremely tired, but now I saw what I had missed for the last few days by not holding her as often.

Her abdomen has a gentle slope to it, as it should. She's almost five months now. It's scary how fast the time passes.

"You're showing." I say, smiling. She, still half asleep, smiles as well.

"I know." She grins. "I was going to tell you last night. I just noticed." I kiss her, place a hand over her swelling stomach, smile again.

"You're so beautiful." I say. She laughs. "I'm serious."

"Shut up," She says, leaning her head on my neck. It's an odd position. She has to crane her neck to reach it from where she is on the bed, lying down. I smile again.

"I'm serious!"

"Sure you are." She pulls her head back, frowning at me.

"What?" I ask, pulling her even closer. Her stomach presses into mine.

"It's just…" She blinks, as if checking if she's looking at something real. "it's almost like we have a normal life."

"Almost?" I smile, though less brightly.

"Almost." She kisses me, but the thought sticks with me. She's right, of course. We haven't had many happy memories where it was just the two of us, behaving like a normal couple. I mean, we're having a baby and we haven't even gone on a proper date.

**Tris**

Something about how easy everything has been for us has me becoming anxious. I feel as if Jeanine will burst through those doors any minute to seize me for war crimes I didn't commit.

Still, I can't help but lose myself in the beauty of our current lives. Every morning I wake up in Tobias' arms. Every morning I walk to work with Christine, helping at the senior center in the morning and sorting laundry with other refugees in the afternoon. At night I come home, feet sore, and eat dinner with Tobias and the Speck.

I have begun to show, and Tobias seems to always have a hand on my middle, like he's protecting us.

Us. That's such a strange thing to say now, isn't it? There are three of us.

"Tris, you alright?" His hands are warm when they touch my face, and I lean into his touch.

"Yeah, fine." I say, brushing a hand over my stomach. "Just tired."

"Do you want to go back to bed?" The worry is palpable in his face.

"I'm fine, Tobias."

"Okay, I'm just saying-"

"I said I'm fine!" I snap, anger suddenly rushing up inside me. Tears burn in my eyes. "Just...just leave me alone for a while."

I turn on my heel and leave, my entire body sore from the weight of whatever is racing through me. Tobias doesn't try to follow me, though he knows where I'm going. I'm too invested in staying safe inside Candor to not go to work.

"Ah, Tris, you're here!" Richelle, the woman in charge at the senior care hospital, greets me happily. "And you're showing!" She crosses to the side of the desk, smiling as she hands me a meds tray. "That's for the blue room."

"You got it." I sniff away the last of my tears as I walk quickly to the blue room.

Inside are all my favorite patients, mostly Dierna. She's a sweet old lady who finds it absolutely adorable that I'm pregnant. Everyday she asks if we've settled on a name, or where we're going to live.

"Beatrice!" She also asked about my full name because she hates the name Tris. In a way I don't mind. Sometimes it's nice to hear my full name again, and if I close my eyes I can pretend it's my mom. "You're showing!"

She reaches out enthusiastically for my stomach as I draw closer, a smile wider than her face on. "Yes, thank you." I give her a smile. Despite my overwhelming hormones, the fact that I'm showing does make me rather exuberant.

"Yes, well, you look gorgeous!" She says, waving her friends over. Dierna two best friends, Elena and Jerad, are very kind to me, though I like Elena far more than Jerad.

"Oh, Tris, you look radiant!" Elena cries, touching my arm. Her wrinkled fingers are freezing, unlike Tobias'. Suddenly, even though I just pushed him away literally less than five minutes ago, I have a strong need to have him near me. Still, knowing I can't just stay at work for two minutes, I push the need deep down inside me until the end of the day when I can see him again.

"Thank you, ladies and gentleman." I give a small, joking curtsy and offer them their medicine. Each cup is labelled with a name, and I watch carefully as they take them to make sure they won't get mixed up.

"How's your handsome young man?" Jerad asks, already finished with his pills. He takes the least by far, and he accredits it to his lifetime of exercise and diets. I attribute it to the fact he's about five year younger than any of the seniors in this room.

"He's fine." I say, taking his cup from him.

Elena balks. "Just _fine?_" I nod, smiling.

"He's fine." I repeat.

"Come on, Beatrice, spill!" Dierna laughs.

"Never," I say and move on to the next group of seniors.

**Tobias**

I have heard about hormones but I never thought they would set in so quickly and dramatically. She was fine one second and then bam! She was yelling at me like

I just threw her into the wall.

What the hell just happened?

I don't go after her. She needs time to herself, so I just go straight to work. They've got me assigned in the kitchens during mornings and the computer rooms after lunch. Hopefully I'll see her at lunch, but if she stays in the same mood she was in this morning she might just eat with Christina.

"Hey, Four!" A boy, younger than me, waves me over to the dishwasher. I think his name is Shane, but I can't be sure. I must have seen him around Dauntless.

"Come on! You're on dishes with me!"

Everyone knows my name already, but for some reason they collectively decided that using Four was better. I wonder sometimes if the Dauntless told everyone to do it. Are they doing it for me or because they're afraid of me?

"Hey." I say, taking my first dish out of the bin.

"Hey, Four, have you heard about the meeting Kang has happening?" Any mention of Kang meeting in private makes my blood run cold. I turn to look at Maybe Shane.

"No, what meeting?" I ask.

"Don't know. Thought you would. You usually know what to do, but everyone's been all nervous this morning because a bunch of Erudite came to meet with Kang last night. They haven't left and no one knows what they're talking about." He shrugs it off like it's nothing, but I know it's not.

"The Erudite?" I ask. He nods. "In Candor headquarters? How could you all be so stupid?" I cry, throwing my dish down and sprinting out of the kitchen. How could I have been so stupid? I should have checked last night if there was any news before coming home, but Tris was so tired and I wanted to get her to bed. I shouldn't have just left, I should have asked. I shouldn't have let her wander off.

Inside the senior center Richelle is sitting at the computer, her world completely normal. "Richelle!" I yell, slamming through the doors to the center.

"Four?" She frowns. "What are you doing here? Tris is fine, and you should be on work detail, young man."

"Tris is _not _fine!" I say. "Where is she?"

"I-" She seems to debate answering me for a moment. She knows some of our background, but she also knows that Kang has all of us refugees under strict rules. She must want to protect us. Still, even with her good intentions she is harming us.

"Richelle, please! I need to get her out of here!"

"I sent her out on check ups for some of the out patients. She could be anywhere in the compound by now."

"Give me the list of people." I hold out a hand.

"I can't-"

"Richelle!"

"I can't do that, Four! Doctor-patient confidentiality!" I growl.

"Fine!" I push back through the doors. Tris couldn't have gotten far, right? She's only been in work for about an hour. The halls are already crowded with people, refugees mostly, who must have realized how dangerous it was with the Erudite here. Even if they haven't committed any crimes, the large majority of them are either Abnegation or Divergent. That makes them a target.

I elbow my way through the crowd, searching for any blonde heads.

"Tris?" I turn around a girl, maybe twelve, about Tris' height with straw colored hair. And another, short with her hood up. "Tris?"

"Who's Tris?" They all ask, confused. I don't stop to answer because the answer would be too long. Tris is my girlfriend. Tris is pregnant. Tris is carrying my child. Tris is amazing. Tris is beautiful. Tris is mine. Tris is missing. What is Tris not? Dead, I hope.

"Four?" I turn to see a familiar face.

"Christina!" I cry. "Have you seen Tris? I haven't seen her since this morning?"

"No, I haven't, sorry. What's going on?" She waves her hand around at the crowd.

"Erudite are inside the compound!" I shout over the noise. Her eyes widen and she pulls at my arm.

"We have to find Tris!" We make our way through every hall, calling her name over the sound of shuffling feet. The pain in my chest is growing worse as time passes, worry over her nearly unbearable.

**Tris **

I don't know what's happening. Richelle sent me on check ups. I thought about stopping by the kitchens to see Tobias, but I knew I'd be caught, so I went straight to see my first check up. When I finished with that one I went to my second, and third. It was until I got my fourth, Berlin Ambers, that I noticed something was wrong.

"You must be Ms. Ambers." I say, closing the door behind me.

"Yes." She sighs. "Who are you?"

I want to lie, naturally, but I know I could be punished in Candor, especially for something as simple as a name. "I'm Tris Prior, here for your check up."

"Identification?" I hold up the card Richelle gave me. "Alright. What do I need to do? Do I need to undress?"

I give the woman a once over. She looks like a particularly nasty gust of wind would blow her out of her wheelchair. Her skin, paler even than mine, is dotted with brown age spots. Her veins are dark blue and purple, protruding dramatically from her arm.

"No, that's fine. I can do it while you're sitting and clothed." I pull the clinic's stethoscope from the bag and press it to her chest, then her back. The check up proceeds as normal until she begins to speak.

"So, are you one of those refugees?" She says it so carelessly and roughly. I'm not sure if her straight forwardness is refreshing or unsettling.

I hesitate before answering. "Yes."

"You alone?"

"No, my boyfriend and I came here together."

"Boyfriend?" She cries. "How old are you?"

"Almost seventeen, Ms. Ambers." It's definitely unsettling, but I don't mind it as much as I thought I would.

"Bah!" She shakes her head. "You're too young for a boyfriend. Which faction were you in?"

"Dauntless."

"Well, that explains it." She laughs. "You Dauntless, always so quick to do everything. Were you raised there, Tris?" She spits my name out like it tastes bad.

"No, I wasn't. I was born into Abnegation."

"Really?" At this she turns and looks at me in confusion. "Well, that's unusual."

"Turn around, Ms. Ambers. I need to listen to your breathing." I guide her forward by touching her shoulder. "Take a deep breath."

She does, but lets it out too quick, eager to learn more about me. "If you're Abnegation-"

"I'm Dauntless."

"You know what I mean! Don't interrupt!" She scolds. "If you're Abnegation, aren't you scared today?"

"Why would I be scared today?" I laugh, preparing a syringe for a blood draw. When I was being trained the blood draws were the hardest thing to learn, but it was better than doing food detail, so I kept at it.

"You haven't heard?" She shakes her head, watching me bind her arm to restrict the vein. "Erudite are in the compound to negotiate for the rights to search the compound."

My hands slip and the needle end up in my own arm. I wince, but it doesn't hurt that much, not after all the needles I've taken. "Shit!"

"Oh, you stupid girl!" Her eyes widen at the sight of my blood dripping onto her carpet.

"I-I'm sorry," I shove the instruments back into the bag and jump up, a hand clamped over the rather large slash mark I received from the needle. "I have to go!"

As I leave she calls out. "Not you too?"

I cry out as I make my into the hall, my arm hitting the door on my way out. I run as fast as I can down the hall, which is fairly crowded with people trying to hide, or get out, or anything. It seems some people have already escaped because I'm able to duck between people as I dart down the hall.

I need to get out. I need to find Tobias. I have to get away.

Where is Tobias? Is he still at work? Surely he would have noticed the crowds by now?

There's shouting farther down the hall. Angry voices, directing someone to turn back. I'm too scared to look back at who it is, but I have a few guesses. Probably the Erudite, or their sympathizers.

I listen to the noise as I run. Something loud hits the ground, the metal clang resounding through the hall. There's a hissing and suddenly I can see several people in front of me dropping to the ground. I dive to avoid one of them falling on me and sprint up a set of stairs.

What is happening?

I can't breath. I'm so dizzy. What's happening to me?

"Tris?" I look up to see a hazy face, dark and serious.

"Uriah?" I squint to focus on his face before letting him sweep me up in a hug.

"You're alive!" He cries. Even though I'm sick to my stomach and there's a hundred unconscious people at our feet, I let myself relax in his arms, the arms of a friend. "I couldn't find you guys!"

It hurts to admit that I hadn't thought about Uriah or the others in a while, even though I probably should have.

"We are." I gasp. "We're alive."

He releases me and looks at me, his mouth pressed into a firm line. "Divergent?"

"That's what this is?" I ask, looking around at people around me. Men, women, children.

"Yeah, looks like it. What other explanation is there?"

Of course. If I hadn't been so dizzy maybe I would have thought about it. Only some people are awake. They must be the Divergent. We're being narrowed down.

"We have to find Four." I release his arms and hurry between the bodies toward the next stairwell.

"Four?"

"He's Divergent." I say, not even looking back as I begin to climb. I hear him begin to ascend behind me.

"Tris, are you sure?" He calls, chasing after me. I'm too eager. All memory of sickness is gone, replaced with worry and urgency. Tobias. I must find Tobias.

I wish I could yell his name, but the Erudite would hear me. Instead, I run through the halls, watching for any Erudite on these upper levels and checking the occasional body for a familiar face.

"Uriah, he has to be here!" I say, spinning around to look at him. Tears are burning behind my closed eyelids. The dizziness has returned. I push my hands into my knees, urging it all away. I want Tobias. I want Tobias.

**Tobias**

Where is she? She has to be here!

"Where is she?" I left Christina long ago when she collapsed. I knew I should have taken her with me, but I knew Jeanine wouldn't dare hurt her own kind until they proved themselves an enemy, which I'm sure Christina will do in time. Besides, Christina would only slow me down looking for Tris.

"Tris, are you alright?" A boy's voice sends me on high alert. "We can slow down. We'll find him, don't worry."

"How can I not?" Her voice has my heart leaping, even though she sounds so incredibly tired and breathless. "He's out there somewhere all alone, probably looking for me and I-"

"Tris!" I call her name as loud as I can risk it, though I know she can hear it. She's only a few hundred feet away, crouched at the end of the hall. She's got her hands on her knees, and she looks exhausted, but other than that she seems fine. Perfect.

She straightens up at my voice, her face breaking into the brightest smile.

"Tobias!" She begins to run. My vision narrows until all I can see is her. I begin to run as well, catching her in my arms halfway down the hall. Her slight frame could never have fit into my own better. She sobs into my shoulder, presumably out of relief.

"Thank God." I bury my face in her hair, overjoyed.

"There you are." I look over Tris' shoulder to see Uriah standing there smiling. He reminds me so much of Zeke, and suddenly I'm reminded of my friend. Where did he end up after the simulation? I've been so caught up trying to keep Tris safe, I hardly thought of anyone else these days.

Tris lets go of me and drops to the ground, still smiling. I reach out and shake Uriah's hand. He shakes it like Zeke does - or maybe did - with both hands around my own.

Tris break into a fit of dry coughing behind me. I rub large circles into her bag, not nearly as alarmed as I should be when she falls against the wall and empties her stomach of breakfast. She must have been running around a lot looking for me, and she is, after all, over five months pregnant. It doesn't take Uriah long to figure this all out.

"Holy crap!" He says. "You're pregnant!" He points an accusatory finger at her stomach, which he must just noticed is much rounder than usual. "Tris Prior is pregnant!"

"Yes, and Tris Prior needs to get out of Candor _now._ Tris, can you run?" She doesn't bother to try. She shakes her head and I don't hesitate to pick her up, swinging her legs out from under her.

"To-Four, no." She shakes her head, her eyes partially closed. "You need your arms." She starts to try and roll out of my arms.

"I can carry her." Uriah offers. "You're a better shot."

Behind us there's loud shouting as someone comes up the stairs nearby.

"No." I say. "Tris, I need you to hold on. Can you do that?" She nods and I bend down to pull her onto my back.

No matter how strong Tris is, she's been completely wiped out. She links her arms around my neck weakly, wrapping her legs around my waist, though she is careful to keep them above my hips so I can run unobstructed. Her head falls against my shoulder.

I whisper a warning to her and start to run, Uriah right behind me.

**Tris **

I shouldn't be so tired. I'm so tired. I can't even force my eyes open. I'm useless. I'm holding them back. They're going to die because of me.

I would let go if I didn't think Tobias would endanger himself to go back.

**Tobias**

They're firing behind us. It must be the Erudite. Who else would try to weed out the Divergent? My only question is what Jeanine wants us for.

Uriah is keeping up very well. He's right on my heels as I thunder down another set of stairs, Tris clinging to my back. Her head hasn't moved from the crook of my neck.

"Stop where you are!" A man in a blue shirt right behind us yells. I turn around just long enough to see who is chasing us. Erudite and Dauntless, together.

Worst of all, I recognize the Dauntless. Several of my past initiates and, as expected, Eric. His greasy hair falls in his eyes as he bounds down the stairs, his gun aiming to shoot. I push Uriah further down to make sure he's out of range.

"You can't run Stiffs!" Eric screams, a manic look in his eyes. Tris shifts on my back and it's like everything freezes for the moment it takes for Eric to take aim.

The bullet flies straight toward us. I take a dive, twisting in the hopes that the bullet will hit me and not Tris. It all happened too fast. The bullet rips into her back and she screams, toppling to the floor.

She's quiet.

**Tris **

Pain. Searing pain. I open my eyes to black for a moment and then nothing.


	10. Waking

**Hi guys! I'm back!**

**Anyway, Christmas Eve and all. I have to work later, but I thought you'd like this so you don't have to live on a cliffhanger through out Christmas morning. While I'm speaking, I'd like to invite you all to my Wattpad account: insertcuteuserhere. **

**I'm going to be releasing a new story called A House Divided at three today. Below I will place the summary:**

**Crown Princess Alessandra Antoinette Mernelly of Oret has been raised as the heir since she was little, the first woman to rule over Oret since its creation. She is now nineteen, officially of age to take the throne. **

**She quickly learns that she is not as beloved as she thought. She must face her people, the nobles, and the evil people who wish to destroy her chances at reigning over her birthright.**

**Anyway, it would mean a lot if you check it out. I've been kind of obsessed with the idea of royalty and the stress they endure so that's kind of a big theme in that. There's also a love interest and little politics. Thank you guys!**

**Abby**

**Tris**

"She's going to need more morphine soon." The woman's voice, whoever's voice it is, is grating against my skull. I let out an insistent groan telling him to shut up.

"Tris!"

"Shut up!" I hiss, raising a hand to touch my head. The movement sends shock waves of pain through my entire body. "Shit!"

"Don't move! Don't move, Tris." His hands are warm, like always, and large, comforting.

"Tobias?"

"Ms. Prior, can you tell me how you feel?" The doctor's voice - I now assume it's a woman and a doctor - is loud and annoying.

"I feel like you're speaking too loudly." I snap, peeling my eyes open to see Tobias and two strangers hovering above me. One of the strangers is a man in a blue Erudite shirt, while the other is a woman in very stained white Candor blouse. She clutches a clipboard to her chest.

They all three laugh pleasantly, and I glare at them. Tobias presses a hand to my forehead, concern in his eyes as he pushes my hair further out of my eyes.

"Right." The woman says. "And can you tell me where the pain is?"

I consider the question. "Everywhere?"

"That would make sense." She smiles. "We'll up your painkillers, but we have to ration it, so don't expect much. I assume Tobias will call me if he needs me?" She turns to Tobias, who nods happily.

"Absolutely. Thank you so much Doctor Graton." They shake hands and Tobias watches eagerly as they leave the tiny room we're in, closing the door behind us.

When they're finally gone he lets out a breath, his face breaking into an indestructible grin. "I'm so glad you're alive." He laughs, kissing me softly.

I pull away after a few seconds, worry clouding my mind now that I've finished waking up. "What happened?"

Guilt falls like a shadow over his face. "You were shot." He looks down at his lap. "I'm sorry, Tris. I tried to move you out of the way, but Eric was too quick." Eric? Suddenly I remember the man's blue shirt.

"Are we in Erudite?" I try to sit up, only to let out a shriek of pain at the sudden stab between my shoulder blades.

"No, lay down." He helps me settle back down, stroking my head softly. "No, Tris, we're in the factionless headquarters."

"Factionless headquarters?" Dread settles in, tears welling up in my eyes. "The baby?"

"Is fine." He says, not even protesting as I ignore the pain for a split second to hug him. I groan once the joy wears off. He laughs and lowers me back to the mattress. "Everyone is fine. We got away. Uriah finished getting treated a while ago and we're safe." He touches my arm. "Tris, the doctors said you were lucky not to suffer a miscarriage. We came very close."

I sigh, collapsing back on the pillow. Factionless headquarters. Safe. Nearly lost the baby.

All terrifying topics.

"I see."

"You're fine now, though. I promise."

"Yes. I'm fine until the next time I get shot." I say, my voice beginning to sound like gravel.

"I said I'd protect you, Tris." He says, his face serious. "I wasn't lying."

"I know you weren't, but you can't protect me from everything."

After that short but stressful conversation it doesn't take long to dose off. The drugs they're giving me must work, because I can sense the difference as soon as they wear off.

**Tobias**

Whatever they're giving Tris is not working. I'm holding her hand as tightly as I can while they sew up her wound, but she's nearly breaking my fingers and eardrums.

Because her stomach is already so big they have her leaning against me, her face pressed into my chest so they can have access to her back and, more importantly, the part of her that was shot.

It hit just east of her spinal cord and just west of her previous gunshot wound. The doctors said she was very lucky. Any more to the left and she could have been paralyzed.

Still, I know she would prefer to be asleep for this.

"Alright. All done." Doctor Graton snips off the end of the thread and smiles at us. Tris just scowls.

"Good." She says. "Now get out!"

The doctor doesn't seem surprised. She packs up her things and leaves us alone. A nurse comes in to check Tris' vitals shortly after but she is having none of it. "Get off!" She growls.

"Miss, I have to check for any symptoms of an early infection." The nurse says, holding out a hand for Tris' arm.

"I'm fine!" She says, keeping her arm close to her side. Without a word I take her arm and force it into the man's hand. She glares at me, but I don't mind.

"The last gunshot wound you suffered was when you were stronger, Tris. This one is during a time when you're under a lot of pressure and stress." I kiss her forehead. "I want to make sure you get better."

"Whatever," She mumbles, allowing the man to finish taking her pulse.

I know this isn't normal Tris. It must be hormones or something. As soon as the nurse leaves she lays down in bed, pulling the covers over her head.

"Tris," I start.

"Go away!"

**Tris**

"Get out!" I scream, chucking my pillow at Tobias. In truth, I don't really remember why I wanted him out in the first place, but I'm too far gone now to turn back.

He catches the pillow and goes to set it on my bed. "I said get out!" I cry. He leaves it on the chair by the door and closes the door behind him.

When he's gone I feel worse than ever. I'm so tired.

I lay back, waves of exhaustion sweeping over me. My back is sore after lying on the bed for so long, and I'm so stiff. I want to move. I want to walk, or run, or jump again. Sighing, I put a hand over my stomach, surprised by the dramatic curve of it. I must have grown some. "You better be worth it." I whisper, immediately feeling my anger flow away.

I'm asleep before I can even think. My dreams are heavy and dark, filled with gunshots and screaming babies.

**Tobias**

I wait an hour before going back in to see Tris. When I walk in she's asleep, her head resting at an awkward angle.

I smile and grab the pillow off the chair where I left it. I lift her head enough to slide it underneath and kiss her forehead, her cheek, and her temple.

"I'm so glad you're okay." I whisper into her ear. At my words she lets out a breath and rolls onto her back, frowning in her sleep. I reach down and lay a hand over her warm forehead, covered in a thin layer of sweat. The doctors said to watch for a fever.

I think about asking them to come check on her, but then I remember how she treated them before and decide to let her sleep just a bit longer. I take the washcloth from the nightstand and lay it over her forehead, hoping that will cool her down a little.

She left the blanket kicked down to her waist. I pull it up her chin and smile at her as she begins to fidget the slightest bit. For all the brave feats I've seen her through, it's amazing to see Tris like this. So small. If I didn't know any better, I might even say she's helpless. But she's not helpless. Tris is never helpless.

"I love you." I say and take her hand. Her fingers are limp and warm in mine. "Did you hear me?"

She doesn't move.

"I love you. You have to get better so I can tell you in person."

**Tris**

I wake up wanting Tobias. Where is Tobias? I want him. I miss him.

"Tobias?" I call out for him, my chest beginning to ache when there's no answer. "Tobias?" Oh, why did I ever send him away? "Tobias, where are you?" I try to sit up.

"Tris?" He pushes me down by the shoulders at the last second. "I'm here, what's wrong?" He takes my hand and kisses it, leaning forward so I can see him. My pillow is back underneath. It makes me want to laugh, but it hurts to laugh. I scream at him and he still replaces my pillow for my comfort.

"I missed you." I say and he laughs.

"Tris Prior misses me." He jokes. "I feel honored."

"Beatrice." A woman with dark hair leans over me. For a moment I think it's a doctor, but then I notice the similarities. Her hair, dark and curly, is very different from Tobias' but she has his hooked nose and his mouth with the smaller upper lip. "It's good to meet you." She says.

"Who…" I take in the sight. Now, as I'm looking at her for real, I can see that Tobias and this woman are definitely related. How? "who are you?"

"My name is Evelyn Johnson. I'm Tobias' mother." I know I'm not looking at a ghost because Tobias' sees her too. At the word 'mother' he purses his lips, grimacing like it physically hurts.

"Mother." I don't think it's a question. Just a statement.

"Yes." She takes in my face and realization dawns on her. "You must be from Abnegation."

Evelyn died years ago. I went to her funeral. I remember, even though Abnegation funerals are small, because there aren't that many. Strangely enough, the distant memory doesn't include Tobias. I suppose it should be suspected. Marcus probably kept him inside.

"But...you're-"

"Dead, I know." She smiles, but not in the motherly kind of way. It isn't kind like my mother's or evil like Marcus'. It's more like a hidden smile, like she's hiding something that only she can know, even though she desperately wants to beg.

"Evelyn, you should go." Tobias spits out her name. "I need to speak with Tris."

"Yes, of course." She touches my shoulder before turning to leave. "Feel better Beatrice."

"It's Tris." I say as she closes the door. There is no answer so I turn to Tobias, suddenly angry all over again. "Your mother is alive?"

"Yes." He says, looking down. "I didn't even know until a few weeks ago."

"You've known for a few weeks?" I say, amazed that he would keep something this huge from me for so long.

"She contacted me, Tris. I wanted to just forget about her, but then this happened and you got shot." He takes my hand in his. "This was the only place I could think of."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I don't want to fight." I say, sinking deeper into the covers. I'm too tired to have an opinion right now. "I want to sleep."

"Okay. Sleep." He watches me turn over and close my eyes.


	11. Recovering

**Sorry it's so short guys. Love you! **

**Tobias**

It's been almost a week into recovery for Tris. Because the bullet was so close to her spine she had to stop walking for days so they could make sure there was no damage to her spine.

"Tris, slow down. There's no rush." I grip her arm a little tighter to slow her down.

"I'm fine, Four." She says, glancing at the people watching nearby.

"No, you're not. You just got shot." I shoot a glare at the people watching and they look away. We've only been here a little over two weeks and people have already figured out that I'm not someone they want to mess with. Not only is my mother their leader, I'm just an all around threat.

"Well, I can still walk." She can't. I have to hold her up. The shot weakened everything, not to mention she's carrying around a few extra pounds by now thanks to the Speck.

"Okay, fine." To prove my point I drop her arm for a few seconds, catching her before she could hit the ground. With my arms underneath hers I pull her upright. She looks up at me, smiles.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Tris**

I am visibly pregnant. This fact becomes obvious when I get dressed in an actual shirt and stand in front of the mirror. My middle is round, protruding out from me even when I zip up my jacket.

"Crap." I pull at the fabric of my sweatshirt. It was big enough to hide what little growth I had before the gunshot wound.

Tobias walk into the bathroom and smiles at the sight of me. "What's wrong?"

"Our stupid baby is making me a target." I say, turning to show him the side view of my bulky stomach. He laughs.

"Believe me, I don't think it's intentional."

"Oh, I do." I begin to quickly brush my teeth, a luxury I love about being in places like Candor or Factionless. Toothbrushes and other things of hygienic value. "This baby is the spawn of us both, and we like making ourselves targets."

"That is true." He kisses my cheek and leaves the bathroom so I can finish getting dressed.

**Tobias**

It's been nearly three weeks in Factionless, and we have to leave soon. Something about staying in one place too long when, as Tris pointed out, we are now bigger targets than we were before, especially her. These feelings, along with the fact that I will no longer have to avoid my mother, allow me to feel overjoyed when Uriah mentions something of interest at breakfast.

"So, they're Dauntless is safe for Divergents again." He shoves another bite of eggs in his mouth as if the news he just delivered was insignificant. "Marlene and I are going to head back home."

"Really?" Tris sits up suddenly, frowning. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Positive. You should come with us, guys. The fort's been taken by Divergent and it's much harder to get into Dauntless walls than these walls." I look around. He's right. Factionless is a large and powerful clan, but it's still hidden in the broken down building of the old city. There are gaping holes in the homes of families. If the Erudite were so inclined they could sweep the entire area and pluck the Divergent from the group with the right amount of equipment and weapons.

"Sounds interesting." I say, standing. "We'll talk about it."

Tris joins me as I walk away, taking fast steps to keep up. She cut her hair when we first arrived here, but the gold strands still fall in her face when she's moving, and I can see her ravens peeking out from her sweatshirt even though she zipped it up as high as she could. Even with a baby quickly growing inside her she was small enough that my sweatshirts sag on her frame.

"Tobias, wait." She grabs my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. I stop beside a can, dumping our plates inside. She still has eggs on her plate, but we both know she won't eat them. "We need to talk about this, now."

"I know."

"You don't want to leave, I get that." She shakes her head. "I know that it feels wrong to leave your mom all the sudden but this could keep us safe. Safer than we are here."

"I know, Tris."

"So?"

"We'll go."

"Good." I lean down to kiss her, smiling despite myself.

"I love you."

**Tris**

I talk to Uriah later while Tobias goes to talk to his mom about getting extra weapons for the trip.

"When are you leaving?" I ask, smiling. Uriah lets out a cheer, gathering me into a hug.

"Thank god, you're going!"

"Yeah, Four and I both decided it would be safer."

"Okay, well, we wanted to leave next week. Will that work?"

"Perfectly." I smile as I leave, anxious to get out of here, even if it means returning to Dauntless headquarters where I was pulled into this whole thing.


	12. Leaving

**Tobias**

Every day Tris seems to get bigger. No longer does her stomach have a gentle slope. As the only one to see her outside a sweatshirt, I can reliably say she has surpassed that stage and moved on to a dramatic curve in her middle.

"Stop staring at me." She groans, pulling herself out of bed. Straightening up has been a harder task for her than usual. She takes longer getting out of bed and her shoulders are always slumped. She's so tired.

"But I can't." I joke, watching as she pulls a blue shirt over her black tank top and one of my black sweatshirts over it. Though it's still too large on her, it fits well enough around her stomach.

"Shut up." She closes the door to the bathroom louder than she has to, knowing our neighbors will contribute it to a midnight trip when Tris, in fact, is getting ready to go at midnight.

**Tris**

Tired. Achy. Headache. Sore. Everybody needs to shut up. Now.

Everything hurts. I'm dying.

I mean, I'm not one to complain, but being pregnant really and truly sucks. Tobias is trying to lighten my mood, but being up this late has me feeling ready to punch a wall.

**Tobias**

"Can we go yet?" She's crouched below me, eyes closed. "I have to pee."

She looks badass with the gun I gave her in her hands, even though she's nearly eight months pregnant. I really wish we hadn't postponed our trip but it seemed like we had no choice. Everyone else was ready to go and Tris was still recovering so we sent them all ahead. I wish we had just sucked it up and gone with them because now Tris can hardly run.


	13. Giving

**Tobias**

Every day Tris seems to get bigger. No longer does her stomach have a gentle slope. As the only one to see her outside a sweatshirt, I can reliably say she has surpassed that stage and moved on to a dramatic curve in her middle.

"Stop staring at me." She groans, pulling herself out of bed. Straightening up has been a harder task for her than usual. She takes longer getting out of bed and her shoulders are always slumped. She's so tired.

"But I can't." I joke, watching as she pulls a blue shirt over her black tank top and one of my black sweatshirts over it. Though it's still too large on her, it fits well enough around her stomach.

"Shut up." She closes the door to the bathroom louder than she has to, knowing our neighbors will contribute it to a midnight trip when Tris, in fact, is getting ready to go at midnight.

**Tris**

Tired. Achy. Headache. Sore. Everybody needs to shut up. Now.

Everything hurts. I'm dying.

I mean, I'm not one to complain, but being pregnant really and truly sucks. Tobias is trying to lighten my mood, but being up this late has me feeling ready to punch a wall.

**Tobias**

"Can we go yet?" She's crouched below me, eyes closed. "I have to pee."

She looks badass with the gun I gave her in her hands, even though she's nearly eight months pregnant. I really wish we hadn't postponed our trip but it seemed like we had no choice. Everyone else was ready to go and Tris was still recovering so we sent them all ahead. I wish we had just sucked it up and gone with them because now Tris can hardly run.

"Right there." I point into the distance where we can see the train coming around the bend. "Ready?"

She throws a sharp look my way. "I'm seven months pregnant with the child of a Dauntless prodigy. No, I'm not ready to jump on to a moving train, Tobias."

I laugh and she starts to straighten up, leaning back to stretch the sore muscles in her back. I stand as well, brushing the dust off my knees.

We walk slowly, the train pulling by with unmerciless speed. Tris looks slightly defeated at the sight of the fast train, but she keeps working towards the rails, shaking out her hands as if she's getting ready to lift something heavy. I suppose she is.

I reach over and grasp her hand for a brief moment, smiling back at her. She gives a thin-lipped smile in return after I let go.

Before I know it we're both running for the train, me being in the lead. I swing myself up into the car without trouble, looking back to see Tris sprinting behind the car. It's a strange sight - her running - when her stomach has swollen so dramatically. She reaches up for the door handle, unable to jump like usual with her stomach facing the car.

"Need some help?" I call back to her through the wind and she looks up, smiling despite herself.

"Most definitely!" She cries, panting as she stretches out her hand. Instead I bend down and reach out, looping my arm around her waist and lifting her off the ground. I force my knees to lock again, so I'm holding her tight to me. She's a bit heavier than she was the last time I picked her up, but still light enough for me to hold her. I can feel the curve of her stomach pressing up against mine and can't help but feel this amazing power.

I'm feeling my child. I'm holding the two most important people in my life in one arm.

Once we're both in the train, I sit cross legged on the edge of the car. Tris sits in my lap, her back pressed against my chest.

"God, being pregnant sucks." Tris remarks, trying to warm herself by running her hands up and down her frozen arms.

"Here." I shrug off my black Dauntless jacket and wrap it around her. It's far too big, so when she puts her arms through the sleeves her hands are completely hidden.

"Thanks." She says gratefully. She shifts in my lap so she's facing me, her legs tangling behind me.

"Happy to." I smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "What else can I do?"

"You can wake me up when we need to jump." She suggests, bringing my attention back to the dark under-eye circles that have not budged in the slightest for days.

"Will do."

"Thank you." She smiles, nuzzling her head into my shoulder and linking her arms around my neck, sighing happily. I wrap my arms tightly around her, feeling her breathing quickly slow and put her to sleep.

**Tris**

I fall asleep without meaning to, curled into Tobias. He has his arms tightly around me and I feel safe. Safer than I ever have.

I dream that I'm creeping through the woods where we played Capture the Flag. I keep feeling someone creeping up on me, but when I turn around they are no longer there.

Suddenly, a scream rings out in the dark and I turn to see Al's dead body hanging from the ferris wheel, an unneeded reminder of initiation.

**Tobias**

The roof jump is the hardest part of getting Tris into Dauntless. I argued that we could walk to Dauntless instead of doing all this jumping, but Tris pointed out that then she'd be going into labor on the railroad.

We did it quick, our hands linked. I caught her by the shoulders as soon as I hit the pavement so her stomach wouldn't hit the gravel. Surely a baby wouldn't be that fragile, but I won't take my chances.

The jump to the net is what we're worried about. Tris stands on the ledge, peering down into the darkness. "I should definitely just jump." She says. "What's the worst that could happen? There's a net."

"What if the fall hurts the baby somehow?" I worry, glancing down at her stomach.

"It'll be fine." She gives the hole another pensive look. "Probably. No, it will. Yeah, definitely." She blinks a few times, looks over at me. "Right?"

"I don't know!" My eyes are wide with fear. "Look, what if I go first and see if we can get some mattresses or something to cushion the fall?"

"But-"

"Please?"

"Fine." She sighs, running a hand over her stomach to smooth the wrinkles from where her shirt rides up. "But be quick."

"I promise. Stay here." I step onto the edge.

"Where else would I go?" She asks, a slight edge of annoyance creeping into her voice.

I laugh as I dive into the darkness of my old faction.

**Tris**

"Okay, Tris, there's three mattresses here! Try to hit one of the three, okay?" Uriah's shouts float up from the net. I roll my eyes.

"Do I at least have a good chance?"

"Well…ow!"

Tobias calls up now. "Tris, you're fine. Jump now!"

I take a deep breath as I step on the ledge, knowing they can't hear me. I look down at my stomach, place a hand along the side. Our Speck begins to shake with nerves, his tiny foot hitting my hand. I smile.

"Be brave, little guy." I reconsider. "Gal? No, guy." I raise a foot to step off but freeze and look back down at my stomach. "What are you, buddy?"

Speck kicks again, harder this time.

"Easy." I laugh. "I suppose you can just go by buddy, right?"

No kick. Silence.

"I'll take that as acceptance, then?"

When there is no more movement I step off the ledge, smiling as I plummet towards the net.

**Tobias**

"You're huge!" Christina is still gushing over Tris, her hands placed on either side of her stomach and squealing. "How far are you again?"

"Around seven months." Tris says, falling back against the wall. "Can we go sit?"

"Yeah, of course." Christina takes her by the elbow to help her to a table. I frown, watching Tris lay her head down on her arms.

"Tris, you alright?" I start towards her, but Uriah catches my arm.

"Dude, let her rest." He sounds like his brother, which brings me to the very important topic of Zeke.

"Where is Zeke?"

"He left." Uriah's face sours as he turns and sits on the steps facing Christina's and Tris' table.

"What do you mean he left?"

"I mean he left." Uriah says, massaging his temple. "With the Dauntless siding with Erudite. He's a traitor."

"No." I shake my head. There's no way; there's no way loyal, goofy Zeke had betrayed us.

"Yeah. Let's stop talking about it, yeah?" I can tell Uriah has been asked about his brother too much in our absence, and I feel sorry for asking.

"Of course, sorry." He shakes his head in an acceptance of my apology, forcing a smile back onto his face. "How are you?"

"Ugh, something else."

"Like what?" He looks up at me, smiling.

"How are _you_?" His grin widens and he nods toward Tris and Christina. "How's she?"

"Fine." I nod. "She's sore but she seems okay, mostly."

With perfect contradiction to my statement, Tris' head shoots up off the table and her face crumples with discomfort. Slowly, she stands and clutches at her stomach.

"Buddy's awake!" She cries. I jump up, striding over to her. In two steps I'm there. I put my hand on her lower back, supporting her.

"Buddy?"

"The baby!" She's screaming now, her eyes wide with panic. "It's coming."

A few seconds pass. Christina stands, looking down at the bench Tris was sitting on, which is dripping with something wet. Uriah looks floored.

Silence stretches out for a few moments and then all hell breaks loose.

**Tris**

This is not good.

It's too early, too soon.

Still, it's time now. I try to control my breathing but honestly, I don't think I've ever been more afraid in my life. I might be the most scared person in a fifty mile radius. Except Uriah, of course. He's pale as a sheet as he helps Tobias half-carry me out of the Pit.

"Where do we go?" Tobias, to his credit, is at least calm enough to think reasonably about what to do.

I lose track of their conversation. I let them half drag, half carry me to wherever I need to be. My entire body feels like it's trying to compress itself into a box a third of its size. These moments of restriction last only thirty seconds or so before it relaxes long enough for a rash of fire to burn through my body.

I groan each time my body tries to shrink itself, instead attempting to focus on facts. I think back to health class and the lessons on pregnancy and birth.

Birth is labor. Labor is painful. I agree with these facts. Labor can last hours. That one I hope is inaccurate. Labor has contractions. Check. These contractions will worsen and increase. God, I hope not.

At the end of labor you get a baby. That's the good part. At least, it should be. This thought only serves to turn me against myself again.

Is it really safe to give birth right now? What if Dauntless is attacked? What if-

I scream as another contraction forces itself in, twisting my guts together. This one is definitely worse and came quicker.

"That one was bad." I gasp, taking shallow breaths as Tobias and Uriah lay me on something cold. I hear a rushed conversation taking place, but I can't make the words or the people involved. All I can feel is the pain and the fire in my lower half, the cool hand on my forehead and the feel of lips pressed against my ear, whispering soft words I can't understand.

**Tobias**

Tris is screaming. Still screaming. She won't stop screaming, not that I expect her to.

Christina is crouched beside the infirmary bed, her hand on Tris' head and her head resting beside Tris'. Her lips move quickly as she whispers something for only Tris to hear.

I turn back to the single nurse in the infirmary.

"I-I'm sorry, Four." She looks a little familiar. Maybe I taught her? Now is not the time to worry about it. "I don't know where the doctor is at the moment."

"Well, find him!" I cry, pointing back Tris. "She - Tris - she's in labor!"

"Y-yes, of course." She drops her tray onto the table and scurries out of the room.

**Tris**

A man in a white coat is standing over me, but he keeps fading in and out. He says something right as the next contraction hits. I scream but it doesn't help.

My entire body strains with the effort and I know that I won't last long like this. Aren't there drugs for labor to get rid of the pain?

Black spots dance in my vision and my hearing returns for just a moment.

"-sh, Tris!" It's Tobias' voice and I turn my head enough to see him at my side. I scramble for his hand. He catches my frantic hand and clasps it tightly, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

"Push, now." The man in the white coat, who I know must be the doctor, is giving orders from the end of the bed. I try to listen but it hardly works.

I push. I push. I push. I keep pushing. I don't stop pushing but nothing happens. My strength is leaving me so quickly. Or maybe it's leaving slowly. I have no idea how long I have been here, pushing and screaming and crying and listening.

Christina speaks now, her voice louder than the others. I can't tell if it's because of her words or the fact that she speaks louder than everyone else, but it doesn't matter now, does it?

"Push, Tris!" She screams, holding my other hand. "You have to!"

I shake my head, feeling as if I put my last drops of energy into doing so. My head collapses on its side, facing Tobias. "I can't." I gasp, crying. My vision blacks out for a second and Christina is still screaming my name, encouraging me to push again.

"Please," she says. "it'll be worth it, Tris, I promise!"

Tobias looks so heartbroken.

"Push, Tris!" It's the doctor now, his voice joining Christina's. "I can see the head, come on!"

The pain is searing, burning, numbing. It's as if I can't even comprehend it. My insides twist together again and I release an inhuman sound somewhere between a sob and a scream. Tobias grimaces, dropping to his knees so his mouth is right by my ear.

He strokes back my hair, something I can inexplicably feel over the pain. He leans forward and places his lips against my ear. "Be brave, Tris." He whispers. "Please, be brave, come on. Push."

I push.

"One more!" Christina announces, her grin audible.

I push again, my final push my hardest. With a sickening sound I can hear an insistent screaming at the end of the bed and heart swells. I try to raise my head to see it, but I'm spent, too exhausted to do a thing anymore. Tobias laughs, his words slurring together in my mind.

I want to meet him. I want to meet him so desperately. I want to hold him and kiss him and name him. But I'm so tired. My eyelids begin to droop and before I know it I'm asleep, my mind mercifully quiet and peaceful.

I dream of my child. I imagine a girl with dark hair and grey eyes, or a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. I imagine the music of a child's laugh, the sweet slope of an infant's nose.


	14. Watching

**Just a quick update. **

**Tris**

There is one part of pregnancy they didn't mention in health class: the aftermath.

See, moving any part of the lower half of your body after giving birth feels a little bit like plunging a knife deep into both of your sides, a feeling I trust many are familiar with.

Then there's the part everyone _does _talk about: the baby.

The doctors have put my child into a scary looking machine. They said that it was too early, that my labor happened too soon, which put my child in danger. It's only appropriate, right? I fail to do what women for centuries have been doing and actually give birth to my child on time and I get to sit in this stupid wheelchair and watch as my newborn baby is nurtured by my replacement: a big, scary machine.

If it weren't for the little tag on the side of the machine you wouldn't know it was a baby, let alone that he was my son.

I haven't even held him yet, and he's _my _son.

"Tris, the doctor wants us." Tobias' hand falls on my shoulder, heavier than it should be. "Want me to wheel you?"

I nod. "Please."

As much as I'd like to spend all my time watching Alex, the world doesn't stop for him. Tobias turns me and I watch as long as I can, listen to the steady hissing of his machines as long as I can. I imagine his little beating heart, his tiny lungs pumping with the help of the machines.

Doctor Hannah seems nice enough, if slightly busy. The simulation left lots of injured people so, as well as taking care of infants like Alex, she must watch after a large majority of Dauntless' injured refugees.

She has a long blond ponytail I can imagine being tidy before all of this. Not it's tangled and dull.

She has kind brown eyes and very, very soft hands, which is strange for a Dauntless. She must

have stopped training long ago to become a doctor, because she should have calluses.

"So, Alexander's doing very well considering how early he was born." She smiles in a way that she probably thinks is encouraging, but it just comes off as pushy. _Believe me. Your kid is fine. I'm a doctor. I know all. _

Tobias smiles. "Good." He takes my hand from his chair, squeezing it. I want to squeeze back, but I keep thinking of Alex back in that infant ward. His little pink face and his hollow chest, moving quickly and unevenly. He's so small. Does Tobias feels as worried as I am?

"Tris, how are you feeling?" Dr. Hannah smiles again, pulling her ponytail over her shoulder. How old is she? Thirty? Forty? She probably has her own kids. What are they like? Has she found them yet? Are they still alive?

Hell, this is Dauntless. She could be a grandma.

I nod. Smile. Squeeze Tobias' hand. "Fine. Worried."

"Yes, well, that's to be expected. The good news is that Alex was nearly at the end of seven months when he was born early. Thirty two weeks is the usual time we're able to keep them without any side effects later in life." She smiles, this time proud. As if she chose Alex's due date herself. "He's very resilient, though, and he seems to be coming back just fine."

Tobias' smile widens and I squeeze his hand tighter, tight enough for the tips of my fingers to go red. Fine. Alex is fine. Fine even though he's still so small, so breakable.

None of that matters. All of that matters. I only want to hold him. "When can we take him?"

"Give it another few weeks." She looks apologetic, but not enough so for me to believe her. "It's only been a week. I'd like to keep him until he at least reaches thirty four weeks, alright?"

We nod. My stomach is in knots. It's cramping painfully. When did I eat last? When did Tobias? When did Alex? What are they feeding him? How are they feeding him? He's too small, too soon.

"Give it another two weeks and we'll assess?" She stands. I don't. I'm not sore, but I don't want to walk. I could walk. I deserve the pain, after all. What woman can't carry a baby to term?

Tobias wheels me out.


End file.
